moved.

easier to breathe
yes yes i know i havent been updating a lot.
and all of a sudden i feel like abandoning this blog.
cause i dont see the use of it seriously.
damn.

no, dont tell me that you understand.
cause you dont.how can you? unless you've been through the same things as i have, i dont think that you can ever fully understand what i feel.so would you do me a favour and stop lying to both you and me.cause i dont think i can take it any longer.why?
dont tell me that the pain will go away.
cause it wont.both you and i are fully aware of this fact. i dont know what will take this pain away, but im sure it has absolutely nothing to do with you. so stop looking at me, stop talking to me.
dont tell me you did it for me.
cause you didnt. what, you think im some kind of three year old kid that can be easily satisfied with your crapass excuses? you obviuosly dont know me. i dont believe your lies.
-
why did i let mel kiss me? cause im stupid, thats why.
-
i dont wanna close my eyes,
i dont wanna fall asleep
cause i'll miss you babe,
and i dont wanna miss a thing.
and even when i dream of you,
the sweetest dreams will never do,
cause i'll still miss you babe,
and i dont wanna miss a thing.

CONFUSED.



get out of my head,
get out of my bed.

i dontknw what to say.
im afraid of trusting you.
so i said that.
allriiight?
gosh.
cant believe that i actually misplaced pam's postcard.
blur me.
AND I WILL DO THE CLASS BLOG.
relax people.
no time mahh.
haiz.
the eoys suck ok.

get out of my head
get out of my bed.

i cant believe it.
no.
the eoys are actually gonna be over soon.
and that means twochimistry's gonna split too.
damn.
time reallyreally flies.
like melvin said, it seems just like yesterday when we were still going through the orientation thing and the ice hadnt been brokenn.
i can hardly believe there's only one more month with twochimistry.
one more month.
no more.



when a stargirl cries, she doesnt shed tears, she gives light.

reasons to smile;
+ bestiebestieflo ((((:
+ THE EXCONS. of course.
+ anyi((:
+ melheng and her cutiepies.[or is it pie?]
+ zach and his APPETITE.
+ abel and his even larger appetite.
+ lejon and his gayquotes.
+ kaixiang jinhao timoh and their oldmaid.
+ sam and his revamped TWISTER!!
+ mell. [the one that laughs when there's no joke; dances when there's no music and talks when no one talks to her.]heh.privatejoke.(((((((((:
+ pam and her o'level stress.
+ crazyandconfused melsa.
+ derrickszesiongwensiziyang and their CRAP.
+ letters.((:
+ movies.
+ roasted marshmellows.grin.
+ coffee(((:
+ CHOCOLATE.
+ my spoilt sis.
+ iceskating.
+ bowling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
+ music.
+ hugs.
+ TOWN!(:
+ freedom.
+ laughter.
+ shootingstars.
+ talkingtoyou.
+ you.
reasons reason to cry;you.

the eoys are coming.
sigh.
really shouldnt be here riight now.
ohwells.
back to geog.
DONT TREAT ME LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLD KID.havent seen you for a while.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just dont belong
and no one understands you.
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room
with the radio turned up so loud
that no one hears you screaming?

No, you dont know what its like
when nothing feels allright.
You dont know what its like to be like me.

To be hurt.
To be lost.
To be left out in the dark.
To be kicked
When youre down
To feel like youve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No, you dont know what its like.

Welcome to my life.

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find sth more
before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies?
But deep inside youre bleeding.

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think Im happy
but Im not gonna be ok.

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work
It was always there.
You dont know what its like.

nothing lasts forever even if we want it to.

havent been blogging much these days thanks to the eoys.
sometimes i really get confused.
but anywayy.
have been msging melvin during class these days.
yes its a little lame seeing that we're like only a few rows away.
actually passed my math.
cant believe it.
and i got a twodigit score for my culture.
not bad kae.
used to score four out of fifty.
heh.
have to go mug chem now.
why are we acting like nothing has happened? do you even know how much you mean to me?i cant express what im feeling now. \i want to know you.does it mean something or am i just thinking too much? are you playing with my feelings?why does love have to hurt so badly? i never thght i wld feel this way for you.are you telling me the truth?if so, then why dont i feel it? theres so much i want to say to you, so many reasons why youre the only one who really knew me at all. iloveyou.

life isnt fair.
it never was.
i cant go on like this anymore.

damn.
tried doing a whole new template and when i tried to save, blogger screwed.
i hate it.
added the comments thing.
go try.

went to church for the bbq ystd.
am getting so bored of blogging.
see you in about a hundred years.

soledad

if only you could see the tears in
this world you left behind
if only you could heal my heart just one more time.
even when i close my eyes
theres an image of your face
and once again i come to realise
youre a loss i cant replace.

thestones

lejonthepebble
jinhaothestone
kaixiangtherock
justintheboulder

HAH.
privatejoke.

taggy replies

zach:HUH?! what tell you what??

rachtham: LEAVE YOUR LINK!

mell:?!?! what happened on channel u? who's cute. i wanna know.


ATTENTION.
the excon camp pics are out now.
click here to see.
credits all go to vio.
muacks.

am way too lazy to recap every single thing about the camp.
so i am like gg to rip from zach's blog.
hope you dont mind.

[zach]
ghost stories
muaha. girsl are easyt to freak. its liek....liaoz. but sam's weirdo story abt the reverse head is like FUNNY. how to be freaked? lol. RI biolab foetus also scared. but that one IS freaky. i was freaked by it in sec1. and then...er....de tracker one also scared. that one not veh scary lah. eggman! soooooo cool! RV got such a cool ghost. eggman lor. but we got the rafflesian spirit? where does it go to? "the clocktower". DOTS. haha.and sam can tell teh ghost story like sooo well lor. char was freaked by me and just. actually we wanted to freak anyi. off the light in the room, open door. wait for her to walk by. wanted to like "anyi.." then she would freak. but then so happens that char walks past. looks into the room. i be sitting there with black shorts and white shirt. smiling like an idiot. justin screams. justin's scream gets drownned out by char's scream. *grinz* roxxor.
quoolio quotes
char: "zach..."
anyi: "whateverrrr..."
anyi: "don't talk to you!"
mel heng: "SO CUTE!"
lejon: "gay."
sam: "handsome lah..."
girls: *SCREAM*
justin: "I do lah." <- cooking.
lejon, kaixiang, tim oh, jinhao: "OLD MAID!"
justin/char: "both of you stop it!"
anyi: "HE started it!"
anyi: "meanos."
lejon: "do push up!"
anyi: "who wants water?"
everyone else: "me."
zach: "wah i'm pro." <- after winning bridge or taitee.
anyi: "sorry!"
justin: "stop saying sorry."
anyi: "sorry!"
zach: "am i a nice guy?"
kaixiang: "yes."
jinhao: "yahh."
lejon: "um yahh."
justin: "yes. (cont'd)"
mel heng: "I still haven't fall down!"
everyone: *laughs*
that is like freakin funny lahh can.
zach has got it nailed.

shall blog more next time.

the excon camp.
(=

dont mean anything

THE EXCONVICT CAMP IS ON!!

SCREAMS.

sorry, im just suuuperhyped up now.
yesyes wed to thurs.
the peeps coming are as follows.
me anyi jinhao kaixiang vio sam norman zach gerald lejon justin jason phuifun.
so excited can.we going to iceskate and bowl.
suuuuuuuuuuuuupersupeeeeeeeeerhyped up and i cant stop.

went to ywav just now.
few ppl came today and i have no idea why.
me nut anyi tinfoo bell met earlier for sth.
HAH.
cant tell you.
yes and i saw nut's monkey.
winks.

she pretends

twochimistry's cip project.
it ROCKED.
okay we started out waiting a whole half hour for that stupid melvinlek.
then we split up onto our groups.
me flo derrick and melvin got the furthest two blocks.
apparently mayqi thought that they were strong and colud carry more stuff.
from the collection point, you had to cross about a hundred blocks and a main road before you got to the block.
me and flo stayed at the void deck.
we were supposed to collect the newspapers or old clothes and whatnot from the lift and start tying them up neatly with raffia string.
it took quite a while for the both of us to realise that it wasnt as slack as we thought it would be.
you should have seen us, we were screaming everytime the lift opened to reveal a stack of rubbish.
yes and i regretted not taking up melvins idea of one guy one girl thing.
except for the fact that flo would have murdered me if i went along with him.
HAH.
derrick and melvin went to buy lunch for the two of us and we ate.
cheekeong abandoned qinny and came to help us.
after much much hard work, we finally got everything into THREE lorries.
our profit is like what four hundred bucks.
WHOPPEE!!
then we went to eat with the class and walked around the plaza.
I WANT THE EXCONVICT CAMP!
-
i dont mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain.
look for the girl with the broken smile
and ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
he walked away.

cant make me

went to bukit panjang ystd to give out flyers on twochimistry's cip project.
me qinny and flo in a grp.
door to door putting flyers and explaining to some of them.
we finished pretty fast cause we were efficient.
HAH.
but we were like a whole hour earlier than anybody else okay.
so the group of us went to theplaza to eat dinner.
me flo mell bex melvin derrick.
with the exception of derrick, the rest went to take neoprints later.
teachers day today.
the concert was so so so much better than the stupid national day one.
the skit put up by the teachers was waay hilarious.
enjoyed myself except for the fact that we were all late and had to sit beside the principal.
then we went to watch thirteen going on thirty.
SCREAMS.
supernice and supersad.
cried like a total of three times.
then went back to fairfield with mell.
walked around got bored and trooped down to clementi.
walked walked and then walked around somemore.
-
why cant i breathe whenever i think about you?
why cant i speak whenever i talk about you?
its ineviable.
what does it mean when he puts his arm around you?

overwhelming temptations

missed flag day ystd cause i had the toolkits performance.
saw SNG YUNTING.
hee.
she chaota le.
but not like she primary schl time very white lahh.
the performance ahh.
hm.
no comments.
i dont think anyone actually got it.
it was supposed to be fairyland idol.
like the apple thing was snow white being paranoid.
then michelle singing abt sweeping the floor.
that was cinderella.
janice was little red riding hood.
you know the you have big eyes and the grandmother thingy.
HAH.
anywayy i dont think anybody got it.
i was the judge and i only said three lines.
wait outside.
thats the end.
CLAP.
so retarded.
argh.
then played tried to play volleyball with jinhao kaixiang justin anyi lejon.
lotsa ppl joined so i stepped out and chatted with nut.
then went home.
hai.
-
in the end i wanna be standing
at the beginning with you.

washed away

PISSED.
typed this damn entry THRICE.
so i have shortened this to a third of its original length.
ehrm.
you know what.
i forgot what i typed in the neverseen before entry.
ohwells.
-
you were all the things i thought i knew.
and i thought we could be.
why has he changed?

thecclique

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR FCUKEN PROBLEM??
do us all a favour and get out of my life.
i hate it when everythings already settled then some self proclaimed knowitall comes along and destroys everything.
suckers.

dont you cry

went to orcahrd with flo and mell today.
took a lot of noeprints!!
yes.
and im gonna post them here asap.
just as soon as mell uploads it.
that reminds me.
huixian still hasnt sent me the sari photos.
ahhhhhhhhhh.
anywayy.
i spent waay loads of cash at orchard.
so im officially declared broke.
then we went to study before going ywav.
hah.
played attemted to play volleyball after that.
apparently samk thinks he's spideyman.
me and anyi kept screaming everytime the ball came.
okay scratch that.
actually only she kept screaming.
nut, he's waay cute.

dont ask why

happy birthday delisse.
happy birthday songxia.
[belated]

ehrm actually not much happened today lahh.
didnt get to play bball during pe cause we had to choreograph dance steps for the acers day dance.
andit was class individual.
so we had to do it all by ourselves.
ohwells.
after we performed for the teachers, annaloh was saying our dance damn nice.
(=
assemby and pdp were useless and boring.
gossiping throughout the whole of today.
and i got so pissed off at a particular unresaonable person.
got caught for the belt.
stupid teachers.
sulks.
he sat beside me.

if tomorrow comes

happy birthday sokhwei.

have you tried green mayo?
or HOT pink supposedly natural fruit juice?
heed my advice.
DONT.
yes so i went to schl today.
what else is there to say.
i am getting horribly sick of blogging.
and i have utterly no idea who or what ever inspired me to ever start blogging.
ARGH.
do not bother me.
i have tonnes to do.
and i repeat.
do not bother me.
he picked a piece of pink string off me.

come on

went to kaypoh church ystd cause they needed help with the children.
stupid anyi and nut and other people didnt want to miss cia to go.
sigh.
so poor me had to sacrifice.
HAH.
there were only six kids at first so i was thinking that it was gonna be so slack.
then about twenty people poured in.
so much for slacking huh.
i tried to teach them to do the pen and string thing.
and i was like kinda reminded of the primary school days where we had to try to keep those ignorant guys under control.
kept being reminded of shann esp.
and all the irritating primaryschool kids.
and actually i kinda miss them.
yes.
i miss shouting and screaming them.
its kinda fun being able to abuse your authority huh.
anywayy.
went to church then lunched at the cafe galilee.
so i just came back and i have to rush my tuition hwk.
when i stepped in, the first person i saw was him.
the feelings came back.
as if theyve never gone.
do you know how much i miss being able to talk to you.

let me go

okay havent exactly been updating for quite a long time.
so i shall do a quick recap before getting back to the studying.
actually cried during rod on sat.
but it really rocks lahh.
just want to say that i will miss you.
i mean all the seniors.
especially pam.
heh.sorry couldnt help that.
the sermon on sun was about love.
think that it was like the most interesting one that i ever heard.
lunched with anyi later then visited the library.
warning. do not try any of the sandwiches.
dont say i didnt warn you ahh.
yes then poor anyi lost her phone.
sigh. what can i say.
blur people are like that.
then went swimming after that.
according to anyi, you burn more fats if you drink hot coffee before exercising.
believe her, she's from rgs.
felt so good cause i havent been in water for a super long time due to my stupid chinese tuition.
and i went kindamad in the water.HAH.
went to billybombers to have dinner later.
staggered home extremely full.
went to zionfull for something.
quite fun.
till the point i saw _him.
to anyi.
he was carrying my balloon!!!
yes im serious.i knew it was mine cause your ahhbell broke the stick.
im going paranoid here allright.
just ignore me.
getting too lazy to blog.
and i have to get back to studying for chem.
argh.

squelched dreams

national celebrations today.
wore the sari and i took about a whole fifteen minutes just to walk from the carpark all the way to the classroom which was on the fourth floor.
entered the classroom only to be greeted by seven people half bundled up in six metres of cloth.
as you can imagine, it wasnt really a pleasant sight.
yes.
then we spent the rest of the time helping everyone wear their saris.
everything was out of control but it was really fun ahh.
had trouble making our way down for assembly but we managed it in the end.
went to the holding room for our stupid songwriting competition.
everything reminded me of talentime.
the performance was a total disaster okay.
actually had to restrain myself from running offstage.
sat through the uber booring 'concert'.
actually we kind of sneaked out halfway, went back to the classroom and started taking photos.
shall post them here asap.
community singing totally rocks.
not to mention the spastic movements we came up with for the songs.
took a class photo before going to support the guys in the bball match against twoL.
sad to say, we lost.
to melvin.
do not deny there werent any tears in your eyes.
and i seriously think that you did play well loh.it isnt your fault at all.plus im not saying that just to cheer you up.
later went out with theclique.

lost in thoughts

rushed through the first two classes today trying to get the two chinese article reviews done.
and believe me, when youre as familiar with that language as you are with greek, its no easy feat.
something cropped up later and to sum it all up, all i can say is that im PISSED OFF.
again yes.
but if you were me, i dont really think you would be able to supress your anger either.
its like theyre forever trying to take charge of everything even when theyve been told right in their faces that they arent needed at all okaay.
totally cannot stand people like that.
they keep pestering me every single minute of my life.
like im deaf or something okay.
i am so damn sick of all these idiots trying to ruin my life.
but theres noway im gonna let them do that.
uhuh.
anywayy.
played bball with the guys today during pe.
had flo mell bex shauna songxia derrick melvin szesiong on our team.
it was real fun although we didnt like run about the court that much as compared to last week. but still fun mahh.
thats the point.
during pdp, we were talking about what we wanted to be in the future.
for your information, we have been doing that for like the past few years.
and without even uttering a single word, the damned teacher proclaimed that i wanted to be a rich man's wife.
so like okaay.
and qinn wanted to join s.h.e apparently.
so me and yanneng suggested that she and peicheng join, qinn shall change her name to elizabeth and tadah.
SHEEP.
allright, we were awfully bored.
got some wrong info that the lit test was cancelled and we started screamin in the middle of the audi during assembly.
went to littleindia after the test.
no, im not joking.
to buy sari lahh, then what else.
yes.
me flo mell songxia sokhwei bex seokhui and huixian have all decided that we are going to get one to wear on national day.
grin.
i got a pinkpurple one.

totally clueless

updating through my dads laptop.
yes im at the dunno what office building thingy, renewing some stuff.
not even sure what it is.
just know it has something to do with me going to australia.
for holiday lahh.
yes, i am totally clueless.
and i couldnt go for cca today because of this lohh.
we made steamed sponge cakes in home econs today.
okkay, so its supposed to be sponge cakes.
but believe me when i say this.
never ever ever steam your cakes.
ackk.
the thing tasted sooo horrible like rubber or something.
and this time you cant blame me cause jiajun made it.not me.
HAH.
yes, i made ice lemon tea instead.
and i also accidentally grated my poor thumb while trying to grate the stupid lemon.
yea you bet it hurt like shit.
there was blood everywhere and i got lemon juice into it later.
for your information, its chockfull of acid.
and it hurt even more.
argh.
i seem to get hurt every tuesday.
last week it was my leg.
hmm, visit me next tuesday, maybe i'd be in the hospital this time.
okayy.
enough of the crap.
got this feeling that not so nice lady behind the counter is going to come over and scold me for blasting music outta the laptop.
gottago.
tatas.

close your eyes and let it slip away

okay, if i thought friday was bad, i really dont know what to call today.
the worst day in my life would probably be an understatement.
guess i should have seen it coming.
its like we're given tiny pieces of a giant puzzle which we couldnt put together.
or didnt want to.
the day actually started out on a relatively good day.
just dont ask me how it turned out to be this huge horrible mess.
went for the ndp rehearsal which totally sucked because they kept us waiting when we werent even needed.
feel like screaming at them.
but i guess there's really nothing that we can actually do huh.
just typical.
i wish i knew what to do with my life.
and i guess its just the four of us again.
but at least he was there for me.

lots of terrible things happened in twochimistry today.
qinyue broke down.
ziyang got so pissed.
flo got uber pissed.
i  got so pissed off too.
and we both felt like breaking down.
sometimes i really cant see it from their point of view.
like we're really going to need any help with making props.
if we even need any lohh.
its all thanks to the stupid singing audition.
i didnt even see a problem at first okay.
dont even know why she had to bring it up.
now everythings a big mess.
the rehearsals on monday and im just glad the lyrics and settled.
i dontknow if we're going to wear the classtee.
i sure hope so.
something happened after school and i cant really mention it here cause its just not appropiate.
so i dont think i can really elaborate.
flo wont really like it.
going to school for rod dance practice tmrw.
shall wearthe sectwo shirt.
allrightty.